Update

It has been quite sometime since I have written in this. I do need to get better I know. Things here in Salt Lake City are going. The city is changing all the time. One of the most biggest construction sites which is downtown is looking very awesome. There is always things here that are improving for the best. I can't up but think that from coming here, it would ever change. Oh was I so wrong. I have lived here now for 5 years 6 months and about 5 days. Everything is changing all the time.

Emerson is doing well. He is working and keeping himself busy. He was the EQ Secratery for a while. Now he is no longer that. He is now the EQ 1st Counselor. What a big change. He has been very busy keeping up with me. A recent thing I let Emerson get was X Box Live 12 month thing. He has fun playing with that when he wakes up.

I am doing the program for church every week and keeping up on that. Some may ask or want to know how things are with me. Well, I am hanging by a thread right now. But, I am doing. It has been really rough for me since my father died. It hasn't been an easy road to say the least. I continue to think at all of the things in this trial I have been faced with and the things I am facing now, are things I needed to know. I have been seeing the bishop at times for help and advice and as well as my Counselor. Well the chapter of the Counselor is now over for right now. There is not much more she can do. The lord had told the bishop the last time I met with him, it is now all up to me. I have to come up with my own decisions from here on out. If I fall, there will be problems I must face. Trust me in a million years, I myself never thought I would be walking down this type of a trial or road. I have been giving tools and now I must figure it out or try to figure it out. I am extreamly worn out and exhausted from trying to get through this. I don't have very much energy left in me. What energy I do have, I use that to get me through. Whatever road I am on, Emerson will be there to support me and help me get down that road.

We have gotten a new bishop. Our bishop now use to be the Executive Sec for our old bishop. He is 30 years old and his counslors are in there middle 20's I belive. So we have a young bishopbric. Our bishop has done his best to keeping tabs on me. He doesn't want to see me fall and he wants to support me with the help. But, he is trying his best after all he was told I must make the decisions now. The bishop was thrown in to the hardest time right now. He had to already do a funeral and some other things.

A dear friend of mine in my ward died of cancer little after dad died at 5 months. With it now being almost 7 months at 6 months a cousin had died of cancer. Now it is a waiting game on grandma and grandpa.

That is all I can think of at the moment. I need to get the program done and get some more sleep. I will try and get better. That is all I can say right now is, I will try.